When You Stay Too Long in What Doesn’t Feel Right
If you are in a season where things feel heavy or confusing, just know that you're not broken and you're not behind and there's nothing wrong with you for questioning a path that maybe once made sense to you.
Following a Path that Once Made Sense
I was actually in this situation where I thought I was actually following a path that, at first, it felt like the right thing for me to do, but then I lost interest. It was not exactly what I expected, and then I felt a little lost because I wasn't really sure what would come next.
This was after I graduated from college, and at that time, I was working in a local TV station. By this time, I had already moved to a different city where I didn't know anybody, but I wanted to grow. I wanted other opportunities, and I thought that moving to a bigger city, I would be able to find what I was really looking for. At the time, I had a lifestyle in my head, the type of life that I wanted to have, how I wanted to live.
Choosing What Felt “Responsible” - Not What I Truly Wanted
By this point, I decided to go back to school and pursue my master's degree. This decision was not really coming from my heart. I was doing this because I thought it was a responsible thing for me to do because I thought that I would have better opportunities in the future.
But if I'm being honest, this is not exactly what I wanted to do, but I don't regret making this decision. In fact, it gave me more than just a degree. It was a learning experience. But at the time, this is not how it felt.
What I Was Really Looking For (But Didn’t Fully See It Yet)
There was another thing that I was also looking for, and that was freedom. And what I mean by this is like when it came to my job, when it came to my career, I wanted a job where I could just work Monday through Friday, where I didn't have to bring the work home, where I would be able to make some plans to go out, to hang out with my friends, with my family.
This is another thing that I really wanted, and this is not something that I could have. While I was working in TV production, I was working sometimes seven days in a row. If I wanted to have some days off, I really needed to request them ahead of time. I didn't have Christmas off. I didn't have New Year's off. Sometimes I couldn't actually make plans in advance because I wasn't sure if I would have the day off. This is another thing that I was really craving, even though I didn't know that what I was really looking for was this kind of freedom.
I also felt like I was working too much and I felt underpaid. I felt like I was sacrificing too much and I was not seeing the results that I truly wanted.
And I think this is when I started feeling like “this is "not working. This is starting to feel like it's forced. I'm not feeling fulfilled. I'm not feeling motivated anymore. I'm not inspired anymore." Little by little, I was actually losing interest in the career, and the more I was thinking about it, the less I was interested in finding out what else I could do. I was constantly feeling stressed because of work, and it really helped me realize that it was not a career that I wanted to keep pursuing. It no longer felt right. I didn't know what I would do next. All I knew was that I no longer wanted to stay in the same spot.
So as soon as I graduated from my master's, I thought that I really needed to do something about it, but I guess at this point, I was listening to myself. I no longer wanted to feel the same way. I really wanted to figure out what I would do with my life. So I started listening to that inner voice.
If Something Feels Off, Pay Attention
So, if it feels like knowing in your heart that something just doesn't click anymore, like something feels off, that you're no longer happy, you're no longer fulfilled, even though you don't really know what is next. It's just this feeling that it’s actually telling you that it's time to do something about it.
So where in your life are you pushing through something that no longer feels right?
So if this is how you feel now, just know that you're not alone, and it's actually a great sign when you feel like something is no longer working. It's time to listen to yourself, regardless of what other people say, and just notice what comes up.