The In-Between: When You Stop Settling But Still Feel Lost

Have you ever left something that didn't feel right, like a job, a city, a relationship, a version of yourself, and you had no clue what you’d do next?

But all you knew was that you could no longer stay where you were? And things have not worked out the way you expected?

It's not that you made the wrong decision. Actually, this is part of the journey that is rarely talked about, because leaving what doesn't feel right doesn't automatically bring ease, clarity or confidence.

Walking Away Without Knowing What Comes Next

I've shared a season in my life where I didn't know what I wanted to do in my career. All I knew was that I no longer wanted to pursue a career in TV production. I no longer wanted to stay in the same place. I knew that I wanted to change my life, but I just didn't know how. As soon as I finished my master's, I quit my job, and then I decided to move to a different state. I didn't know what would come next. I didn't know what my next job would be. All I knew at that point was that I was no longer available to settle for a career that didn't make me happy.

So once I moved I decided to apply for different jobs, and I landed a part time job at a radio station, and a full time job in educational technology. I really enjoyed learning about technology, but there were some aspects of the job that I honestly found very stressful, and as time was passing by, I realized that I had earned enough experience for me to move on.

But here's the thing, I didn't know what I wanted yet, and now I understand that no matter where I went, I was repeating the same patterns, because everywhere I went, I felt capped in how much I could earn. So even though I was gaining experience and building skills, I still felt like I couldn't move forward the way I wanted. And that made me feel confused and frustrated, because I felt like I was doing things and at the same time, I was not seeing the results that I was expecting.

So now I know that, in my case, it was a long process, but that was also based on the beliefs that I had around myself, around money, around my worthiness. And looking back now I can see that this season wasn't about finding the right job or the next step. What I was really looking for was not just another job or more money. It was also fulfillment. I wanted the whole package. I wanted a job that I could enjoy, and I also wanted more money, because money was also very important for me. So little by little, I had to rebuild the trust in myself. And it was not about getting it right. It was by staying honest.

This Season is Not a Mistake

So if this is how you feel now, if you are in the season of not settling, but still feeling lost. Instead of feeling free, you feel uncertain. Instead of relieved, you're wondering what comes next. I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. This is the in-between phase, and this is not a mistake, and there's nothing wrong with wanting more. This in-between phase is actually teaching you something.